Blossoms Dead Below

english paper.

2010-09-15T07:52:00.000-07:00

Sweat was dripping down over my eyes and every muscle in my legs feeling as though on fire. I could have been crying and not known it with the sting of salt burning my eyes, and the salty taste evident if I licked my lips. To stare straight ahead was to view a sea of dark grey, with waves in the air rising from the heat. Tilting my head up would put that sea into perspective, a blacktop road headed up at a sharp incline lined with the pale grey of sidewalks. My feet pushed down against the pedals of the bicycle, pushing them along their eternal track. Going round and round, but never getting anywhere. I crossed back and forth across the road in an effort to make this journey easier. I glanced back up at the road, wiped the sweat from my eyes in an effort for the stinging sensation to lessen a little, and continued towards the top of this seemingly endless and steep hill.

It had been about two years since I had ridden a bicycle like this. The last time was when I lived in North Las Vegas right after graduating high school. Riding a bicycle was my livelihood, carrying me five miles to my place of employment, a RadioShack store. It is impossible for me to ride a bicycle without thinking of that trip I made almost every day. The sweat of the ride up that hill was reminiscent of the sweat spent paying rent for a room in a rundown house. There was no purpose to the ride up that hill other than to feel the sweat pouring down my face, the burn of my leg muscles, and the endorphins released by the exertion.

A black sport utility vehicle came over the peak of the hill, and I pushed my legs hard to carry me back over to the right side of the road. It rushed past, high school aged kids pointing and laughing as though driving their father's vehicle made them superior. The burn in my legs only got more painful as I propelled myself closer to the top of the hill. The pain was almost enjoyable though, a cause for pride, though that may have been the endorphins. The constant crossing of the road and the need for alertness of cars travelling on the road pushed all other thoughts out of my head.

A short journey up a hill doesn't seem like much after a childhood of constantly moving around. Even after high school, I eventually moved twice inside a period of six months. From Las Vegas to Missouri, and then from Missouri to South Carolina. Twenty-one years old and nine states, from the north-east, to the south-west, and many places in between. A short bicycle ride up a hill should have meant nothing, but there was a sense of accomplishment in the struggle. The distance travelled or the reasons behind it did not matter there. There was a sense of bliss in having no reason, no destination. Relaxation through complete activity.

My leg muscles began to cramp, and I had to force myself to push through the increasing stiffness, being about three-quarters up the hill. The goal was in sight, and that thought gave me the needed determination to keep pushing those pedals in their circles to propel myself forward. The sweat continued to drip down my face, and I wiped it away again. It was getting difficult to keep my eyes open from the stinging, combined with the wind blowing into my face from the movement. I was unable to tell if the wind was indeed wind, or just the result of movement. My pace slowed, and for the first time on the trip up the hill, I noticed the houses beyond the sidewalks.

They lined the sides of the roads, with trees in between them. Almost every house was a different colour, with many different coloured vehicles, mostly pickup trucks and cars, in front of them. The houses were spaced liberally, the kind of spacing you find in semi-rural areas. A few children ran and played in one of the yards. A man mowed his lawn on a riding lawn mower, riding in wide semi-circles around his front yard. Life went on for everyone around me as though I didn't exist as I pushed myself and my bicycle up the hill.

I brought my eyes back to the road, continuing my seemingly endless back and forth movement. My head tilted up, and I was near the top of the hill. I started pedalling as quickly as I could, with a far more straight course than previously. As I rode over the crest of the hill, I stopped my bike and stood over it. I wiped the sweat from my eyes one last time and looked behind me down at the hill I had conquered through sweat, strength, and determination. My legs burned through every inch of them and I was breathing heavily. Not much time had passed, but it felt as if I had spent an eternity pedalling up that hill.

I rested for a brief moment on top of the hill, and let my thoughts wander. There was no metaphorical journey up the hill, it was exactly as it seemed. A ride from the bottom of a hill to the top. Something done with no goal or purpose. Something done for the sheer joy of doing it. It reminded me of simpler times, when not everything was a step up a set of stairs. When things were done for the experience and the thrill of doing them.

I stared down the opposite side of the hill. I had not thought of what I was going to do once I had gotten to the top. There was no planning past the act of making it to the top. When you get to the top of a hill, there is only one place left to go. I went down the hill at a high speed and was infinite for a brief moment, and everything was right in the world.

In case anyone checks this!

2009-10-26T11:39:00.000-07:00

I'm am working on a new photography-based comic, titled VII XIII
You can find it at viixiii.smackjeeves.com

thanks.

...

2009-04-12T18:24:00.001-07:00

And. Update.

2008-10-13T14:26:00.000-07:00

Dirty Illiterate Youth is back, revamped, and a hell of a lot better looking I think.

d-i-y.smackjeeves.com

and for the people over at From the Anti-Culture, guest work!

http://anticulture.comicgenesis.com/

2008-10-06T11:45:00.000-07:00

I came across a webcomic project, that really caught my eye. It is an audience submitted webcomic. The script is posted, and the audience renders the comic frame by frame in the medium of their choice. I submitted a frame to it. It's still in the infant stages right now, but I am looking forward to seeing it take off.

Contributer Information

http://jsduke.com/participate.html

Script

http://jsduke.com/webcomics/alice/Aliceindex.html

I look forward to seeing some of you participate.

Issue 1 Page 5 Frame E

If anyone still reads this damn thing.

2008-09-28T01:09:00.000-07:00

I've been working on a comic, you can find it at burningintheaftermath.smackjeeves.com and I'm planning on it being a mere 7 pages, though that might change as I work on it and fill in the story. For once, I actually have 7 pages scripted out for me to draw. in case you're lazy, here's pages 1&2.

and i actually redid page 2 since I started. Heres the first draft to see the difference.

Ok. In a return to posting.

2008-09-25T14:23:00.000-07:00

Yoh, check d-i-y.smackjeeves.com for whatever randomness i feel like posting for the day, or whenever, usually a comic of some kind. No telling what time of day it willpost, though I am trying for everyday right now. also, here's some recent work.

would someone please...

2008-09-20T22:32:00.000-07:00

Buy me a tablet? Pretty pretty please? Or i'll turn out more garbage like this. I would also like to thank Bob of thelifeofbob.com for stopping by. Go read his comic.

Hopefully...

2008-08-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

I have been in PA for about the last week, so hopefully when I return to SC I will be a little more driven to get some stuff up. I've been completely alone in SC with pretty much no friends, and I know no one around. I finally have a car, so that should help in job hunting and meeting people. I'll be back on saturday so hopefully I will have something to post Sunday. Reynolds, you need to get a hold of me, I'm only a hop and a skip away. Also, people, check out thelifeofbob.com it amused me and I think you should go read it. All one or two people who read this.

toldja so.

2008-07-03T21:37:00.000-07:00

I may have a project being born, but maybe not, completely unrelated to this drawing, but i told you so. here ya go. it got smudged on the half country car journey and i'll clean it up eventually but i just want to post something. so let me know what you think.

KAPOW AND WE'RE BACK!

2008-07-02T23:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, so i live at home with my parents again, so now I am stranded in South Carolina with nothing to do but find a job and draw and paint and stuff so updates will be resuming as never before, cause I have a stable internet connection and nothing to do all the time. SO i hope you all enjoy my situation and hopefully I will gian more than one or two viewers. So when i get my computer hooked up and stuff, ill be updating. probably later today.

2008-05-15T12:52:00.000-07:00

i know i haven't been on here much, and thats because i don't normally have an internet connection. i'm at a friends house so i don't really have anything to post. i always find it weird, music and art. they are two things that i really don't feel like i have any natural inclination or talent for but i push myself towards them constantly. I haven't had much encouragement in either, my parents telling me that they could tell when i had a friend over cause then the guitar actually sounded like music, or really, just telling me i shouldn't waste my time with art cause i should be using computers. i don't know. i just seem to love these two things, and maybe it is because they are a struggle for me. when it came to academics, i didn't usually struggle. i learn fast. In art and music, i have to slow down, it takes me time and i have to work at it, maybe that is why i love them so much. well i guess i'm done, since no one will probably read this anyways. later.

Running from these problems won't solve anything.

2008-03-07T01:21:00.001-08:00

A vinyl spinning on the turntable,
as he smokes his last cigarette,
wondering where he's going,
and why he's going there.

Thinking about how it was better,
when he was just fourteen,
enjoying life and pretty carefree,
not knowing how good life was.

Sitting with a knife in his pocket,
and the window locked,
cause he knows it's better
than having someone come in.

Wondering how he got here,
and why he ever stayed,
and why he's leaving,
and what the future holds.

No one realizes,
he's just as insecure,
with his own fears and problems,
as everybody else.

He knows the truth,
but doesn't want to listen,
he has seen the lies,
but knows where those lead.

Running from these problems
won't solve anything
but thats what he
is going to do anyways.

Kind of Inspired by Ralph Steadman, at least in terms of lettering.

Dick Protection

2008-02-22T11:13:00.000-08:00

LOGO FOR CALI PUNK BAND DICK PROTECTION!

I know I've said this before...

2008-01-14T01:16:00.000-08:00

this is an important day jan 14. it marks the beginning of me drawing more and posting regularly on here. here is the first drawing for this. i will be posting more as i have come across a reason to draw more and push towards my goals and ambitions. here's the beginning of me again. there is no real.

2007-11-24T23:01:00.001-08:00

my scanner is working somewhat again.

Return to the psychadelia.
in other news, Alison and I will be working jointly on a logo for a band called Chimney Fish, I honestly don't even know if it is one or two words yet. Also, I am working on a new piece called panic attack so look for that in a week or so.

2007-11-19T01:44:00.001-08:00

it's been a while, and that's my fault. and it's gonna be a while more. Because my scanner broke. sorry. I am drawing again more now. So there will be plenty to post when I get a new scanner

Human Bottle Rocket, Dirty Illiterate Youth, and Music Notes.

2007-09-08T00:21:00.000-07:00

THis is going to be a big update, just to prove I have been drawing.

Which is my music project. You will here more about it when there is more done. Note the Tweeters shirt.

True Story. Kind of. THese next few are things I did a while ago, and these just never got posted here. I'll end up redoing them, but for now, enjoy!

and lastly. My big project for the nextlongtime. Hopefully. d-i-y.smackjeeves.com which is the temporary home of Dirty Illiterate Youth, a webcomic I will be illustrating and sometimes writing. Thats it for now.

Revamped!

2007-08-13T19:26:00.001-07:00

I know these jokes must be getting old but tell me if they look any better. Thanks.

RedLightRun
BassDumbass
WhatTrafficLightsDoAtNight

First Friday September!

2007-08-07T21:49:00.000-07:00

Alison and I will be setting up so I have a couple presents for you guys. Check out our new displays! Thanks to those guys at comic-con for the idea!

I've also been playing with tattoo design and here's one, just so you can see some art. I actually drew half of it but you guys are smart enough to know that. haha. here you go!

Smartass Traffic Light.

2007-08-07T00:38:00.000-07:00

Well, these are something I will be playing around with so please give me feedback on what you think of them. Peace!

Doodle

2007-08-01T16:57:00.000-07:00

This is just a cool lookin doodle. My computer is running really slow right now. The orginal was on lined paper so when i scanned it I cleaned it up some and took out the lines and darkened it. Oh well here you go!
EDIT: Just playing on the computer. I like it.

A.S.o.O.P.S. #2

2007-07-22T14:59:00.000-07:00

Well it took a while. But this is number two. Hopefully as funny as I thought. These should be picking up. Comic-Con Will slow them down some though. Here ya go.

On a side note, I will be redoing this comic at a later date with greater precision and stuff. This is pretty much a quick sketch, so I don't forget the idea.

A.S.o.O.P.S. #1

2007-07-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

Sorry there have been no updates. I have been moving. ASoOPS is A Series of One Page Sequences that I will be doing while I am busy moving and getting settled. They will just be quick sketchy one page sequences to keep me drawing and sane. Please follow along with me until further notice. Thank you.

Dead

2007-05-08T21:04:00.000-07:00

Ok IM SORRY! Im slow. THe udate schedule is now whenever i manage to finish a Page.
Same situation with sickcity.smackjeeves.com!!! THough I am almost done with the next strip for that. Talk to everyone later.

BDB Page 2 Modification.

2007-04-23T21:37:00.000-07:00

Better? someone please tell me. Thanks.

BDB Page 2

2007-04-21T11:54:00.000-07:00

Hopefully I will be posting a new page of BDB every saturday. Hopefully.
edit:this is the second incarnation of this age, i changed part of the background in the bottom frame for readability. Behind the word myself. I didn't believe this small change would justify a whole new post, so I just reuploaded the image.

page 1 edit

2007-04-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

I am being torn to pieces.

Blossoms Dead Below

2007-04-14T01:58:00.000-07:00

I am illustrating(spelling?) the short story this blog is named after. This will hopefully result in more consistant updates also. Here is page 1. Tell me what you think. I will probably redo this page by the end. Peace.

Dave McKean

2007-04-12T20:06:00.000-07:00

Based upon the work of dave mckean. cleaned up and rearranged on the computer.

First Friday

2007-04-07T18:14:00.000-07:00

Alison and I did alright. See you all next month hopefully. I'll start posting on here more too soon. Thanks.

UPDATE:
There was a contest held by the webcomic Blue and Blond about designing a surf board graphic and I received an honorable mention. Check it out at http://www.blueandblond.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=357
and read the comic at blueandblond.com so yea. PEACE!

First Friday and whatnot

2007-03-28T21:46:00.000-07:00

My posts are slowing down steadily and the fact that I have 41 or so prints in my room to crop isn't helping. or that to use my "P" key I have to push with the force of a jackhammer. HOWEVER! If there is a print anyone would like, please contact me and we can work something out most likely. I will have a more organized system later. Which brings me to the fact that my girlfriend, Alison, and I will be setting up at First Friday this month(april) unless all goes to hell. Come see us. Thanks!

Phyll

umm.

2007-03-25T20:17:00.000-07:00

gouache and digital.

Dead in Memory.

2007-03-15T22:23:00.000-07:00

its a really crappy scan but it captures the page. Its really dirty on this sacan for some reason. Oh well. It's something. There you go.

300

2007-03-10T17:42:00.000-08:00

300 was amazing, go see it. Now.

Digital Self Portrait + UnderVegas

2007-03-04T09:34:00.000-08:00

UnderVegas promotions is a local promotion company for local music and such. You can learn all about it at www.myspace.com/undervegaspromotions so enjoy. Yeup.

Negative Shape

2007-02-28T21:24:00.000-08:00

This is pretty old and not the whole thing, but I thought I would share it. Here you go.

guitar

2007-02-28T14:07:00.000-08:00

Sorry

2007-02-27T21:19:00.000-08:00

Sorry it's been so long I have been doing stuff, but not all that much I guess. Here is a cropped still life pastel drawing thingie. I hate pastels. well. their ok I guess. More importantly I have been recording guitar and such. I have a little demo clip done. You can find it at myspace.com/thesoapbubbles (the song is Killed by Cancer) and I will hopefully soon have it posted somewhere off myspace if for whatever reason you can't access myspace. I will update when I do. Hopefully update again soon.

paint

2007-02-10T09:41:00.000-08:00

head sideways

2007-02-05T21:36:00.000-08:00

i don't have any new art to post as of this second but I have pictures of my baby and me taken by a wonderfully awesome person(not me).

Here you go!

turn your head sideways haha.

Don't Follow Me

2007-01-28T22:10:00.000-08:00

I like it better in my sketch book... The scan looked really light for some reason so I played with the darkness a little and cleaned up some eraser marks, but thats it. If you know me just ask to see the original and you'll see it looks no different other than a few missing eraser marks and whatever smudges acumulate between now and then.

For the record.

2007-01-24T17:39:00.000-08:00

People Suck. Expect even more inconsistency in my posts, espicially since I definately can't afford new paints now. So yea. If you want to know what's up, just ask me sometime. I won't post it. So yea. lostsongforyou@gmail.com and i have drawings, but they feel too happy to post right now.
Go listen to:
The Decline - NOFX
it's only 18 minutes longCalvin belongs to Bill Watterson. I was just working on emotions and such.

And me in a style similar.

Away

2007-01-22T20:40:00.000-08:00

I won't be around for a bit. No no. No updates for a while. None for me. I gets myself in a level lee bunk chas of trob ulles. Yes I did. So in addition to this week end sucking for me and thee and thine, I am grounded.

offering no appy polly loggies to the thees and thines amongst me for a wrong doing I simply was not wrong in doing. Oh no.

If you really want to know, track me down andhold me at knife point. Other than that, don't worry my crowd of non-existant fans and invisible supporters whose existance I must be forced to believe in. I'll be around.

Skreeped Skrapped and Lopped.

2007-01-20T18:01:00.000-08:00

Chunks.

2007-01-19T12:10:00.000-08:00

Uhh. Paint. Lotsa paint. Weeeee paint. Weeeeee paint funnnnn. Contrary to popular belief, i am not on drugs, unlike Weezer apparently. Though I guess River is clean now. Ohhh well. I'm bored so I will paint more. But I'm almost out of paint, so donate some? Please?

Abduction

2007-01-18T13:00:00.000-08:00

Uhh, canvas and acrylic paint and india ink. I think. It's actually a little wider than this scan. email me for a smaller version. lostsongforyou@gmail.com

This is Homunculus which I really like modified a little on the computer and I like how it turned out. the pattern overlaid should look familiar.

Old Digital Stuff

2007-01-15T19:07:00.000-08:00

This is stuff from over the summer when I drove across the country with my sister. these were made on her laptop on the dashboard.

Finally.

2007-01-15T12:07:00.000-08:00

wow, I'm updating. Slowly. Here's why I couldn't update as often as I wanted. It's my measurements for a scale model of a stage. which sucked. Oh well.
Here is a drawing of a homunculus which I discussed earlier. It is a sensory one. It's supposed to have genitals, but since it was for a school project, I omitted them, and was later told I shouldn't of. Figures.
this is a revamp to the shadow drawing I did before. It's better. I think. But yea. Small difference, but I think it's worth updating.

I have to go to work now, but hopefully i will be able to post later.

Yes. I am aware.

2007-01-08T22:12:00.000-08:00

Yea, I have been drawing, no I have not been posting. I'm trying to keep up on my school work, and still go to work, among other things, so it is getting harder for me to post regularly, HOWEVER! I have begun work on a page in a comicy form, so I hope you all will wait for that. I will hopefully be posting sketches and such at least three times a week, though I am not sure this week. When i do post it will hopefully be a very large one. Sorry everybody.

Peace.

Am Nots.

2007-01-06T12:10:00.000-08:00

Well, I don't know much today. I missed a post yesterday because I was really busy. I'll be posting later today with a drawing. I would just like to say, contrary to popular belief, I do not smoke pot, do drugs, or anything of the sort. I just like to set things on fire... Oh well. I'll be posting a pic later today.

homunculus

2007-01-04T22:42:00.000-08:00

In Psychology there is a figure called a homunculus, which means little man. it is used to show the systems and their porportion to the brain... or something like that. Look it up yourself. But illustrations of them are often odd and to me, inspiring. Here is a piece based on some of the art I found. I am at least semi-happy how it turned out. It's a style that i don't normally use, and I sketched it out a lost more recklessly than I normally would, making changes as I inked it as I saw fit. I guess I am getting more confident in myself. Ok. Peace.

Sweet Troubled Soul

2007-01-03T01:15:00.000-08:00

This is a sketch of Shawn Christensen of Stellastarr* singing. I was practicing rendering people slightly more realistically than I normally do. I did alright with the sketchy nature of the drawing. The picture I used as a reference was really dark though. Oh well. It does look better in my sketchbook. ALSO!!! The time on this post is gonna be messed up cause it runs on Pacific time and I am in Eastern. So yea. Here it is though. And later after I land in Nevada I will have another drawing from the flight hopefully. So Peace.
EDIT: There was no room on the planes so nothing got done... Damn people with their seats back.

Shadow

2007-01-02T10:03:00.000-08:00

I'm a shadow, I take everyone's stories and make them mine.

Got one...

2007-01-01T21:40:00.000-08:00

Watercolor and Micron pen. I think. Kinda different from my other stuff. here you go.

Happy New Years.

Going Digital

2006-12-31T18:06:00.000-08:00

Here's two things from today, plus maybe a hand drawn sketch later if I get around to it. Here you go!

Updates and other amazing things.

2006-12-30T13:11:00.000-08:00

I'm going to do my best to update daily with a new creation of some sort. I don't know how well that will turn out, but I am going to try. There will probably be exceptions, such as days where I am in a plane all day, though I may try when I land, so who knows. Wish me luck eh? So back to the point. I will hopefully be posting a drawing, painting, poem, short story, digital work of art, song, or other creative object every day. Maybe this will help my brain out some. For those who didn't know, I am currently in Connecticut living off of a MP3 Player/Flash drive. I run my browser, photo editor, audio editor, virus scanner, media player, and messenger off of the flash drive. Portableapps.com let me do this. They are portable versions of all the programs I use at home, including Firefox and the GIMP(GNU Image Manipulation Program). So yea. I will be flying back into Nevada on January 3rd. I will be back in school the 4th. And I will be rushing to finish all my work before the semester ends after that. Well that's it. Here's my post for the day.

yea, its kinda crappy, but its just tossing around Ideas for the brave brave soul who asked me to design a tattoo and I just cannot think of much. The colored background is just to help with contrast. Oh well.

Here is another thing today, since i really don't like the first one. This is watercolor. It turned out interesting. Enjoy.

Banners and logos and stuff.

2006-12-29T20:09:00.000-08:00

So i decided to design a more proper logo/banner for this page, and the one i kinda decided on is now at the top of the page, there was one other made, so tell me if you like it better. here ya go.and then the old one, which isn't nearly as cool.

and the logo i got done ^__^ I drew the flowers for all the logos by hand then cleaned up on the computer.

well thats it for now! Maybe I'll post later if i make something new. Peace.

Phyll

Choking

2006-12-28T20:38:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt as if someone else's actions were choking you to death, though you had nothing to do with it?

Blossoms Dead Below

2006-12-28T20:09:00.000-08:00

“The last pain is here,
Only to be forgotten,
Blossoms dead below.”

The car is flying off of a cliff, and I am writing damn haiku in my head. It’s all there. Seventeen syllables to express myself. A season word is there. Five dash seven dash five is the pattern. Only one hundred more feet to the water. Never been more ready.

“A bold statement now;
With nothing to lose left here,
I say I love you”

Only fifty more feet to go before impact. I miss her because I never got to say what I wanted to. I was ready to propose. This is why people don’t drive drunk. Drunk driver’s ruin futures. It used to take forever to compose haiku. Now it’s less than a second. I needed a bath anyways.

“Floating flower stalks,
A petal drowns under there,
Ice floating above.”

The cold water rushes in through the broken windshield. The drunk driver cracked it. The collision with the water finished the job. Would be my luck that the world’s hot water heater broke today. Oh well, a free bath is a free bath. See you on the other side. The damn seat belt won’t move anyways. I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t been wearing my seatbelt. I would be dead. And now it is going to kill me. Oh sweet irony.

“As a stick drifts up,
Deep under the waterfall
A petal rises.”

The damn seat belt broke. I’m drifting to the surface. Great, no simple asphyxiation for me. I have to get pneumonia, or whatever it is you get from cold water. Medical health was never my thing anyways. Look, a remote grey sky. At least my remote is grey.

“Bobbing in water,
waiting for the gentle hand
a lonely petal.”

I float on my back curled up for warmth. I know it will be about an hour before the search helicopter comes. At least it is too cold for something to swim in these waters looking for a nice tasty me. I close my eyes. The assholes who find me deserve a scare for taking their sweet time. No better time for a nap than now. I need to blow the time anyways.

Copyright Phillip Brown 2006